This New Cafe Will Offer Fellatio With Its Espresso

Jonesing for some oral sex with your caffeine? Soon you’ll able to satisfy both cravings at the same time — at least if you’re a man living in Switzerland. 

That’s right, a new cafe set to open by the end of the year in Geneva, where sex work is legal and regulated, will allow patrons to order a coffee drink and then use an iPad to choose a sex worker who will perform fellatio on him.

The beverage plus “five to 10 minutes” of oral pleasure will cost 60 Swiss francs (or roughly $62 USD) but if you want a macchiato you’re going to have to fork over another five Swiss francs.

In this week’s episode of the HuffPost Love+Sex Podcast, I chat with my co-host, Carina Kolodny, about this new cafe and the economy of sex, and we ponder exactly how much money someone should charge — or pay — for a blow job. We also answer a few listener questions, including one from a man who wants to know why he hates cuddling with his girlfriend after sex, and chat with Jillian Keenan, the author of Sex with Shakespeare: Here’s Much to Do with Pain, but More with Love, which explores Keenan’s spanking fetish and how reading the great British playwright as erotica came to her rescue while she was learning to accept and explore her own sexuality:

The Pulse Of Pride

Joining the iconic march down Market Street in San Francisco on the last Sunday in June — or down any main street anywhere in the world at a Pride celebration — to us is the essence of Pride. Millions of us together show the world outwardly our inner beauty and strength as LGBTIQ people and supporters. As we march, we hear cheers from the crowd that drown out voices external or internal that have told us there is something wrong with us. We celebrate the gifts of being born LGBTIQ.

This year’s parade takes on special significance because of the catastrophic massacre of LGBTIQ people and allies on Latin night at Pulse nightclub in Orlando — a place where people thought it was safe to come, dance, and be themselves. When we heard the news two Sundays ago, we were filled with utter horror, shock, and sadness. Even though we did not personally know anyone at Pulse nightclub that night, we identified immediately with all those who were there. They were kin. Orlando embodied our worst nightmare as LGBTIQ people — the fear that someone might attack or kill us simply because of who we are. Many of us have faced such threats, cared for victims of such violence, or mourned the loss of friends or family. For those of us lucky enough to face less risk, Orlando reminds us that millions of people around the world — LGBTIQ and otherwise — live with the daily threat of violence.

Orlando also caused us to reflect on how hatred of LGBTIQ people and the belief that there is something wrong with being LGBTIQ is learned and not innate. When the perpetrator Omar Mateen was a toddler crawling on the floor, he was not thinking anti-LGBTIQ thoughts and hating LGBTIQ people. He learned these attitudes. The day after the killings, Mateen’s father stated on Facebook that: “God will punish those involved in homosexuality,” apparently trying to articulate that people like his son should not punish gay people because God will. His words suggest one potential source of Mateen’s learning such horrific ideas.

And the fact that Mateen himself appears to be a person who was attracted to people of the same sex exposes another hideous element of homophobia: self-hatred. Sadly, many of us have felt self-hatred to some degree, and it is deeply disturbing to experience it. Orlando represents self hatred at its worst as Mateen killed and injured so many other people as he destroyed himself.

Never has it been more urgent for people who spread messages of condemnation or rejection to understand the devastating harm they cause, not just in Orlando but around the world to millions of LGBTIQ people and their loved ones on an ongoing basis. In further remarks, Mateen’s father stated that “nobody has the right to harm anything, anybody.” We agree, and it does not stop with the harm that an assault rifle can inflict on others. Although we embrace the Constitution’s guarantees of freedom of thought, expression and religion, messages that that there is something wrong with being LGBTIQ inflict inner and outer harm on LGBTIQ people even when the speaker or writer has no conscious intention to hurt someone else. It matters not whether the message comes in a religious context, like that of Mateen’s father, or otherwise.

Lelah Alcorn was a 16-year-old transgender youth from Ohio who concluded that the way she was treated at home, in the church, and at school because she was transgender made life so unbearable that she committed suicide last year. To make her life meaningful, she posted a plea on Facebook, timed to appear shortly after her death. After explaining that one of her parents had told her that she was wrong about her being transgender and that “God doesn’t make mistakes,” she pleaded: “If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.”

Shortly after the shootings, Stuart’s 92-year-old dad wrote us an email that began: “More than ever, you have my love and support, and total empathy for what you and your whole community are enduring.” On Sunday, millions of us will set aside our fears to march and cheer to love and support each other as part of the LGBTIQ community. By doing so, we will be inviting the rest of the world to do the same.

Stuart Gaffney and John Lewis, together for nearly three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. They are leaders in the nationwide grassroots organization Marriage Equality.

Family Planning Options For LGBT Couples

For some in the LGBT community, determining how they can start or even grow their families with the help of fertility experts is a process sometimes fraught with obstacles. I’m happy to say that in my nearly 30 years as a fertility doctor, third-party reproductive options have come a long way. And my colleagues and I are proud to work with lesbian, gay and transgender individuals and couples to raise awareness of these options — and to help them choose what’s best for them.

When deciding on the fertility clinic to use, individuals should first do their homework by researching success rates, determining whether or not the providers have access to the latest fertility treatments and third-party reproductive services, and even whether the fertility practice is considered by others to be LGBT-friendly. The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Foundation recognizes almost 500 fertility centers nationwide as “Leaders in LGBT Healthcare Equality.” Reproductive Medicine Associates of New Jersey (RMANJ), where I work, is a repeat recipient of that honor, having met key criteria like patient and employee non-discrimination policies that specifically mention sexual orientation and gender identity, a guarantee of equal visitation for same-sex partners and parents, and LGBT health education for key staff members.

These are questions any individual should ask when choosing a fertility clinic:

  • Does the clinic have a friendly and professional staff?
  • Do you have a high level of comfort with the physicians and support staff?
  • Do the facilities seem comfortable and welcoming?

After choosing a fertility clinic that is right for them, LGBT individuals will undoubtedly have many questions for the reproductive specialist they’ll be meeting with about the options available. In these discussions, we present couples with the following third-party reproductive services, which will ultimately be combined with in vitro fertilization (IVF):

  • Egg donation
  • Gestational carrier
  • Donor sperm

When choosing which service is best, another key decision that should be discussed ahead of time is determining whose DNA a child will receive. While one partner is typically responsible for this, it is possible for both partners to be involved, as is the case with many of our RMANJ patients. Female couples are able to have their child carry their genes by having one donate the egg while the other carries the baby to term.

Since insurance coverage for these services is still relatively sparse — only 15 states require coverage for fertility services — I strongly urge individuals to check with their provider as a first step. Those who are interested may also wish to check with other independent, third-party resources, such as the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART) or FertilityIQ.com, for a second opinion on these service providers.

Starting a family is no small feat. And among some in the LGBT community, the misconception may still exist — that the only way to start or grow a family is through means other than assisted reproductive technology. We are happy to clear up that myth — and, more importantly, my colleagues and I are proud to play a small role in helping people start or grow their families.

Top Burger Recipes For The Fourth Of July

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Independence Day is just around the corner, meaning millions of Americans will take to their backyards for a stars-and-stripes-themed barbecue. In fact, July Fourth is the number one grilling holiday, reports the Hearth, Patio and Barbecue Association (HPBA). And the most popular food for grilling–no surprise–is burgers. Eighty-five percent of the people polled by HPBA preferred burgers to hot dogs, chicken, and even steak. Booya!

There is an art to grilling the perfect burger, of course, starting with the meat you buy. (Extra points if you grind it yourself.) I prefer grass-fed beef with a meat-to-fat ratio of 80/20. (Beef that is too lean will yield a dry, flavor-deficient burger.)

Just in time for your summer celebration, here are some of the burger recipes on my website that have tallied the most views:

The Great American Hamburger: A hand-over-your-heart American classic, the kind of burger you crave when you’ve gone too long without one. Hold the truffled mayo and the sunny-side up egg. Step away from the pickled ramps. On the approved list are ketchup, mustard, pickles, American cheese, tomato, lettuce–you get it.

Inside-Out Blue Cheese Burger: For food safety reasons, the FDA strongly recommends that ground beef be cooked to an internal temperature of 160 degrees. (Use a good instant-read meat thermometer, and insert the probe through the side of the burger toward the center.) Unfortunately, the meat can become dry when cooked to medium-well. An antidote to a dry burger is a flavorful stuffing of blue cheese and butter. If you’re not a fan of blue cheese, substitute another cheese, such as grated Gouda, parmesan, or smoked cheddar.

Hay-Smoked Burger with Rauchbier Cheese Sauce: This burger was a hit on the first season of Project Smoke. Raw beef patties are quickly smoked over hay, grilled, then served on toasted buns with a rich and creamy cheese sauce, the foundation of which is German smoked beer. Add other condiments as desired.

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Steven Raichlen is the author of the Barbecue! Bible cookbook series and the host of Project Smoke on public television. His web site is BarbecueBible.com.

Brewery Taps Into The Environment And Creates Zero-Waste Beer

Hopefully more breweries will hop on this idea.

Northern Monk Brew Co. in Leeds, England, has crafted Wasted, a zero-waste beer.

The pear farmhouse ale — which was created in collaboration with The Real Junk Food Project, a group that runs a series of “pay as you feel” cafes that make meals out of food that would have been thrown out — is made out of reclaimed or recycled pears, croissants and brioche. The 6.7 ABV brew’s Champagne yeast is used in other beers while the hops and malt used in its production is donated to a local farm to be used as feed and fertilizer. The bottle is even made of 100 percent recyclable glass.

Take action now: Sign this petition urging Congress to pass Rep. Pingree’s Food Recovery Act. 

“Brewing beer naturally creates waste so we wanted to find a way to change that,” Russell Bisset, brewery founder, told Metro UK. “We saw this as an opportunity to challenge pre-conceived notions of what beer can be made with and highlight the kinds of products that go to waste on a daily basis.”

Other beer-makers have also been brewing up sustainable ideas. Saltwater Brewery in Delray Beach, Florida, has created edible six-pack rings that are safe for marine life to eat if the rings happen to end up in the ocean. Sierra Nevada’s Chico, California, brewery has 10,751 solar panels on its roof, which supplies 20 percent of the brewery’s electricity. And The MillerCoors factory in Golden, Colorado, reuses or recycles all the waste it produces — which is about 135 tons of trash each month.

Reason enough to raise a beer and toast!